Friday, December 29, 2006

The husband got a tree, chicken theft and profound idiocy in Warsaw airport

Warsaw was AMAZING. We ate fantastically, (thank god we don't have a scale), we saw our family and I got to hang out with my fantastic wonderful sister that I see far too little of, and it was just great. Now we are back home in Spain, and it is MAHHHVELOUS. 13 degrees out today and sunny, and better still, THE HUSBAND IS HERE!!

Oh, and now we have a Christmas tree.

The man went to the main Barcelona market and wandered about while we were away, and I will quote from his tale of getting the tree

" One of the stalls had artificial Christmas trees. As I was leaving the market I went back to the stall and asked about the prices. The guy must of had a whole load of them leading up to Christmas and he was going to be stuck with half a dozen of the things.

"He said five Euros and me thinking of the walk back to the bus carrying the damn thing I said no and walked away. Then he said three trees for ten Euros. What are we to do with three of them? I laughed and said no. Then he ordered me to buy one for three Euros. Sold!

"How could I refuse? Like my bargaining technique?

"Anyway, its a five-foot artificial green tree, nothing fancy. Its the same size as the one the ferraterria (hardware store) here which was asking 58 Euros.

"Now you guys have to come up with decorations.

So, as you can see, tomorrow while all of you are gearing up for New Years, I am back to two weeks ago, and we are going to start making decorations for the tree and wrapping presents again! There are even a few under the tree right now!

I will confess that I am actually quite delighted, and though some of you will want to throw things at me, I AM looking forward to doing it all again.

On another note, the husband told me this story about his cousin when we got back. The husband's cousin lives well south of Barcelona. He and his wife have purchased a small property there to grow things; like olives, so that they can prepare them on their own. They did that this year, and my husband said that they did it EXTREMELY well, and they were absolutely delicious. I personally can attest to the delicious almonds. However, we never got to try the eggs....

The husband wrote:
Finca (Property) Mourns Missing Hens

Six hens were hennapped from a small finca in the days immediately before Christmas. The hens were removed by persons unkown from the chicken coop on the property which is normally left unguarded. The owner had recently purchased the property and had been looking forward to a steady supply of fresh eggs. "It's shame to lose the chickens," he said, "and frankly it pisses me off. Its a small thing to lose the hens but it just pisses you off."

The hennappers damaged the coop during the commitment of this insidious crime. The owner intends to rebuild the coop in the spring and aquire some more hens. "For now we'll have to buy eggs," said the father of the owner, who had been enjoying their produce up until this time. The are no clues as to the whereabouts of the hens but it is speculated that the birds graced several Christmas dinner tables.

Does that not strike you as weird. I mean, I am a town girl I will admit, but you know.. chickens just aren't that expensive at the Higgly Piggly - or local Catalonian equivelant. Too bizarre.

Oh, and on bizarre, or more acurately FREAKING STUPID you should have seen the people getting onto European flights from Warsaw today. Now I do not want to slam all people exiting Warsaw this Christmas season, but the ones we saw would have make your eye's bug out.

Now security regulations have been tightened recently, no water in your carry on, nor creams nor gels nor pastes of any form in containers larger than 100 ml. That is VERY SMALL. Some people don't know this, and have to drink or throw out their water. Fair enough.

However, I don't know what sort of rock you have to have been living under for about the last oh, say 5 YEARS to have not figured out that oh say folding knives were not allowed. Saw three thrown out....giant containers of hair spray... when were they EVER allowed. OPEN 2 litre bottles of hard liquor...gee, did they ever allow that...and since they are no longer letting anyone bring a half litre of WATER for god's sake, why do you think you will be just Jim Dandy with a freaking open liter and a half of VODKA....

The crowning glory of this parade of absolute escapees from evolution was a woman who decided to fly the skies wearing a belt made up of bullets. I could not make this up. You know the ones, the casings are about 3 inches long, polished, but still designed to feed smoothly into extremely large machine guns designed to kill many people quickly....

This, ladies and gentlemen, gets my award for the stupidest freaking person to ever attempt to fly the friendly skies. What god damned gene did she miss.

*head shaking* god d%#@^&m fashion victimsgre*#$^(%@#*!@$)#(((%%%&$


Beth said...

Glad to hear your family is all together again. And, okay, if you're looking forward to it, I wish you a second Merry Christmas.
Our stuff is all coming down - today!

Nomad said...

too bad about the chickys...

Sad they got eaten instead of happily laying eggs into oblivion...

oreneta said...

Beth: Get that crap down woman. Go go go .

Nomad: I think they may have been destined for the pot anyway...but maybe not, just lots and lots of eggs. They will start again in the spring after they rebuild the whatever you call that thing hens live in.... the coop. How was Christmas? Happy New Year