Bring out your gore.

Ladies and gentlemen, bring on your broken bones and smashed teeth stories...time to bring out the gore...

In a complete break from the usual semi-highbrow art postings that I have been going on and on about, I though I would bring things down a notch.

I want to hear your stories of general mayhem...when you got the 15 stitches in your knee, when you busted your arm...whatever.

I'll start, it seems only fair.

All of my stories are kind of stupid I have to admit. I have never hurt myself when doing anything risky, maybe because I am paying attention then.

Hula mentioned in a comment, or on her blog, heck I can't remember, that she had broken a tooth. Well, so have I...one of the front ones. I snapped off part of one of my front teeth, probably about four days after I got my braces off, though maybe it was a month. I was hit in the face by a boom, that low flying horizontal bit of metal on the bottom of a sail. Better than getting hit in the eye, but still things were crunchy for a while, then I spit into Toronto harbour, then they weren't. Then I went off to see the dentist.

Hmm, lets see, what else, I managed to get six stitches in my thumb, which is something of an accomplishment as they just aren't that big. I slashed it from the center of the pad at the tip of my thumb right straight down the inner face of it to below where it joins your palm. What exciting and dangerous thing was I doing? The dishes (loser loser loser, I can hear you chanting it). I was not even washing a knife. No, a mug. You see, I knock the handles off mugs with such blinding regularity, we have decided to keep using them handleless (is that a word?). Just so you know, file down the sharp edges if you chose to live on the edge like we do, the glaze is glass.

What more, what more...I broke one or more of those near infinite number of small bones in your wrist when trying to catch a falling mast. I stupidly stuck out my hand to try and catch the upper end of a falling mast when it was low enough I could reach it. Work out the physics of the weight and speed of a 30 foot mast that is near the terminus of a rapidly accelerating earthbound arc. This was needless to say, an entirely futile effort. I didn't go to the doc for at least six weeks; just because.

Oh, and I have a lump on my nose, which has never been confirmed as a break or not; when one of those angular metal clamp-on bedside lamps decided it wanted to become an in-bed lamp one dark night. Scared me half to death getting smashed in the face like that in the dark. Hurt like the dickens too.

Well, those are my stupid stories...I imagine I could come up with more, but lets hear yours...we could do this in comments, or as a voluntary meme, just let me know if you have used it as a post 'cause you have a particularily awesome story...OH, I just remember the wipe out I posted about last year..gory photos and all! (I basically just fell over, it was very impressive)

So, come one, come all, bring out your gore!