Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Moms and kids.

Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement, this was sent on to me by a friend...and I got a laugh so I am posting it here.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was ' DON'T!'

'Don't what? ' Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.

'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?

Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '

' No Way! '

'Yes way! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' said God.

'Why? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !

'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you? ' said the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve.

'She started it! ' Adam said.

'Did not! '
'Did too! '
'DID NOT! '

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND

'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great

I suggest have a kids day where they are in charge and see what happens.

Old sea dog

Jason said...

Good one!

Anonymous said...

YOU HAVE NEW PIXS ON SPAIN THAT YOU'VE ADDED. MARVELLOUS!
YOUR BLOG MADE ME LAUGH - WHAT A WAY TO START THE DAY!!!GM

hulagirlatheart said...

Very funny! I'm sharing this with my pastor. His teenaged daughter is best friends with my teen. He'll especially enjoy the Adam and Eve angle.

swenglishexpat said...

Very FUNNY! As a granddad myself I do sympathise with Thing 2, grandchildren are the best! (Sorry M!)

elpadawan said...

bwah ah ah ah. Very good one. I'll keep it in mind until I get teens of my own ;)

lillian said...

haha thats a good one :-)

lillian said...

haha thats a good one :-)

oreneta said...

Sea dog...movies, movies, candy, icecream, popcorn, movies (fighting and arguing) movies, candy, icecream there's a pattern in here somewhere.

Jason, it gave me a laugh...

GM, glad you liked it...a laugh is ALWAYS good.

Hula, great pastor you've got yourself...

Swenglish...not there yet, hope they honour me with some....

LP...do that m'kay? You'll have to leave the office sometimes if you want to have kids. Just letting you know. It works that way.

Lillian...glad you liked it!