Saturday, June 5, 2010

The report cards that never get sent

Dear parents,

Your child is an evil snaggle-toothed brat whom I hope never to have the misfortune of encountering again.  He is an obnoxious little squirt, vicious to the other children and forcing us all to endure one of the most virulent and offensive cases of verbal diarrea I have ever encountered in my not inconsiderable teaching career.

He is bullying and vindictive when winning and a violently poor sport when not.

Here's hoping that you move away to some other poor long-suffering teacher's purveu.

Kind regards, and have a great summer!!!

11 comments:

Beth said...

I'm loving the brutal honesty!
Are you SURE you couldn't just send it anonymously? Slip it under their door in the dead of the night, maybe?
Just an idea.....

oreneta said...

I love how I spelled purview correctly for middle English. Call me a 21st century woman, no?

trish said...

Oh dear. He sounds like a lovely chap.

oreneta said...

Beth, sadly....not.

Trish. Only two classes to go!

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

Wouldn't it be cathartic if you could send it? Or maybe it was enough just to write it.

J.G. said...

I bet it felt good to say that!

oreneta said...

writing it helped. I couldn't get past doing that kid's report card, so I had to write the truth. Then I could get onto the real one.

Little jerk.

featheredfibers said...

hahahahahaha!! The best laugh I have had all day! Don't you wish you could REALLY send it?

oreneta said...

In many ways, honestly, no. I am very glad I wrote it though, it would have been hard to pen something more useful if I hadn't penned this first.

It was pretty sweet though.

Hula Girl at Heart said...

Don't you wish you could be that honest sometimes?

oreneta said...

So so very much.