Funerals are difficult no matter where you are. Grief and anguish have a way of just sucking it all out of you. Personally, I have found it most difficult to navigate death in my second culture. I know the norms and cues here in America but I become the fish out of water when walking through death with my Spanish side.
On some levels grief can't be shared, it just has to be released . . . but such intense emotions from others can be draining, especially when their expression isn't what you're used to. I'm sorry this was so hard for you.
Pickle, thank you...I have no voice at the moment, so that was a great excuse to simply say nothing much at all. Hard to put your foot in it if you don't lift it off the floor.
JG, indeed....it was draining. That's the best word for it. Draining.
Hi there I'm sorry you've had a bad day. And if it is someone close it is a generally bad time. I also went to a funeral a week ago. My partners mother died and so I was suddenly part of something that felt difficult emotionally - we were close and lived together - and also hard because all the rituals are different and I was trying to be sensitive and caring in another language. It was exhausting. And yes the men cried - I was actually glad of it but also I haven't seen too many men really sobbing so it was deeply upsetting - raw! Well, I hope things ease up for you all. Well done for including something here - I am still not sure how to write about something so intimate, but it feels equally weird not to mention it in the blog. I like your way - it spoke a lot Take care Kate x
The bit that is also hard is that funerals here are sad, sad and sad. There is no lightening of the sadness and any attempts at it would be most unwelcome. Hope you are doing reasonably well yourself.
10 comments:
without sounding trite...I am sorry, I hope u r not feeling too blue.
Thinking of you.
Hug Nomad
Honestly Nomad, I am feeling pretty crap and totally wiped out. Wrung might be the word.
Gah.
Funerals are difficult no matter where you are. Grief and anguish have a way of just sucking it all out of you. Personally, I have found it most difficult to navigate death in my second culture. I know the norms and cues here in America but I become the fish out of water when walking through death with my Spanish side.
Thinking of you, Oreneta.
mua...
On some levels grief can't be shared, it just has to be released . . . but such intense emotions from others can be draining, especially when their expression isn't what you're used to. I'm sorry this was so hard for you.
Must be the heat. The cold keeps us less emotional - or at least holding our emotions inside (with the rest of the things we like to keep warm).
Pickle, thank you...I have no voice at the moment, so that was a great excuse to simply say nothing much at all. Hard to put your foot in it if you don't lift it off the floor.
JG, indeed....it was draining. That's the best word for it. Draining.
Bodhi, yeah, gotta keep that warmth in somehow!
Hi there I'm sorry you've had a bad day. And if it is someone close it is a generally bad time. I also went to a funeral a week ago. My partners mother died and so I was suddenly part of something that felt difficult emotionally - we were close and lived together - and also hard because all the rituals are different and I was trying to be sensitive and caring in another language. It was exhausting. And yes the men cried - I was actually glad of it but also I haven't seen too many men really sobbing so it was deeply upsetting - raw!
Well, I hope things ease up for you all.
Well done for including something here - I am still not sure how to write about something so intimate, but it feels equally weird not to mention it in the blog. I like your way - it spoke a lot
Take care
Kate x
The bit that is also hard is that funerals here are sad, sad and sad. There is no lightening of the sadness and any attempts at it would be most unwelcome. Hope you are doing reasonably well yourself.
It just tears me up to see men cry, especially older men. Sorry for your rough day.
It was honestly wrenching. Thanks for thinking of me.
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