Monday, February 14, 2011

Sound effects

I have a cold.  Not a noteworthy cold in any way...well except the first day when my left sinus felt extremely strongly as if a small insect had crawled up there and was gnawing its way through my head.  Never quite felt anything like that before.

Onwards, that is not the point of today's story.

I have a cold.

An unremarkable cold.  I was sitting by the fire this evening, with Eldest, when I sniffed.  A perfectly small, normal, honest little sniff.  Somewhere within the depths of my sinuses, just for a moment, something (possibly that insect) was chanelling someone a WHOLE lot older, smellier and male...you know, one of those old men on the subways that make the most astonishing and DISGUSTING noises when they siff.

That was a bit of a stunner.....and I started to giggle a little.  Eldest (at 15) was of course utterly horrified by my  profound uncouthness and muttered imprecations none too quietly into her non-existant beard.  So I decided to blow my nose.  As I opened my mouth to inhale enough to blow...no nasal inhalations going on around here these days.  That insect?  He came with corks it would seem.

ANYWAY, as I was inhaling preparatory to blowing I burped.  Not a small lady-like burp...this time someone or other in my aesophagus was chanelling a Frat House beer drinker.  That was a B.U.R.P.  this left me giggling all the harder, and trying to blow my nose at the same time.  Toot..tooot....toooooot....gigglegiggle giggle.

Eldest was SOOOO unimpressed, but even she had to laugh, it was just so very very astonishing!

Then I just had to fart to round it off, just for her.

hehehehehehehe.

Just wait till I'm OLD little girl!!!!!

10 comments:

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

A one-woman orchestra!

PicklePits said...

If you can't blow your nose or your ass in your own house, then where oh where can you do it?

Bravo woman, let the good times roll!!

Mother Theresa said...

Hahahaha! My kids would laugh their heads off if I did that...well, the youngest would. The other two would probably look disdainful. In any case, hope that insect goes away.

Mother Theresa said...

Oh, and I wanted to ask you about a tour company that I saw for Barcelona. Do you have anywhere I could e-mail you? I was looking on your profile, but there's no contact info.

oreneta said...

I am SOOO accomplished!

Pickle...hallelujah sister!

Mother T, depends on the age, no? I sent you an email too, so that should solve that!

Tya said...

just the kinda thing i love to laugh about with my mom! :)

Helen said...

I got told off by Adam for farting when I was in the loo!! Where else can you do it?

oreneta said...

Tya, nothing like a good fart/burp/snort joke!

Helen...IN the bathroom? Totally unreasonable.

thecatalanway said...

Lovely - that made me laugh out loud which is great in a week which hasn't been a bundle of laughs!
Aren't we lucky to live in Catalunya where people worship pets and caca? Perhaps eldest hasn't yet been infected with the Catalan love of all things earthy.
Hope you feel better soon

k x

oreneta said...

Glad to give you a laugh if nothing else! Sorry you're having a rough week.