Thursday, December 11, 2008

Jokes for Canucks!

My sister sent these over to me....

I laughed and laughed.

Hope you do to.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialled a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,

You
may live in Canada .

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumpers in your car

And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
And road construction,
You may live in Canada .

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

If you actually understand these jokes,
And forward them to all
Your Canadian friends & others,
You definitely live in Canada

So?

Did you like them?

Cheers,

O

11 comments:

kate said...

Garrison Keillor gave a speech (it might have been on his program) after Obama was elected, and one of the things he mentioned was that now Americans can be proud again when they go abroad-- no more pretending to be Canadians!

swenglishexpat said...

I liked them, and now I know everything I need to know about Canadians?

Beth said...

Excellent! I'll be sure and send these to all my friends from The Great White North.

Carla said...

OMG!!! I think most of them are so true! I did spend 2 years in the 1990's living in Minnesota, so I could actually relate to it all.

What I think is cool is that you get to see the aurora borealis all the time!!

oreneta said...

Kate, isn't that horrific. Pretending to be Canucks cause of shrub.

Swedishexpat...glad to help!

Beth, I thought they were pretty good.

Carla, they are all hilariously true. I have worn shorts and a parka!!!

Sadly we can't all see the aurora borealis all the time....from Toronto, there is too much light pollution and we are too far south...I have to go further north some year to see it. This video on Youtube.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtNuELl5he0 shows some lovely photos with Susan Aglukark singing Amazing Grace in Inuktituk. Some thing beautiful for your day.

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

Great! I saw myself in a few of those...but they are still funny. Can I steal them? With credit, of course.

elpadawan said...

Nice :). Oddly enough, only 3 or 4 apply to me. That's not much. I guess I'm not living in Canada so much :p

oreneta said...

Bodhi, I stole them myself from a forwarded e-mail...I have no idea who wrote them.

LP, really? Only three or four? I had to say I ticked every last one off, including wearing shorts and a parka...been there, done that. And cruising down the highway WAY too fast in much to much snow...that's another story. You won't be there much longer anyway...try to hit Black Creek before you go, later in the day....it is lovely. I know your buried, but it might be a nice farewell.

Careful on the bus on the way home though if you stay later.

elpadawan said...

never been to dairy queen, home depot, I have no parka and am short of shorts. People who dial the wrong number hung up on me without even apologizing, people don't talk much about vacations in the office, and usually stay home during those, or go back to China for family reunions.

I guess some people may talk in hours when talking distances. Though I still people talking in miles.

I know nobody who told me about hitting a deer.

I use neither heat nor A/C.

I don't have a car, and only rent for leisure trips that are on well maintained roads.

I lock my apartment door. Always. And set the alarm every time.

Again, I have no car. And I may know what jumpers are, though when I hear the word, I think of some comfy pants.

I have no kids, so no Halloween costumes.

Guilty for the speed limits (whenever I rent a car). I respect them, no matter how upsettingly low they are.

I've not been facing potholes so much.

I thought there were only two seasons in Canada: winter and construction!

I don't have a snow blower.

2 degrees is a light spring breeze. It's not even chilly ;)

I understood the jokes, though :D

Vancouver Isle Doug said...

Those did give me a chuckle. We've only been in Canada for just over a year so a lot do not apply, but some already DO! I have noticed when I get a wrong number call at home the caller is SO apologetic! And all of a sudden, with our temps in Victoria at -2C to -4C, which is in the 20's where we came from, we are COLD! We used to brave -40F windchills in Winter with the temps at -10F to -20F but apparently after 14 months on balmy Vancouver Island we have gone soft. Yikes! And can I talk about plowing the roads after 2" of snow??? Or I should say LACK of plowing. These Islanders just do not deal well with snow at all. OY!

oreneta said...

elP...you are so right...not many apply at all, you must have the worst luck with wrong numbers.

Doug...they SO cannot handle snow out there, and Quebec laughs at all of Ontario cause we are so soft aout snow compared to them, it's all relative.