Saturday, December 15, 2007

Parenting 101

Sorry I didn't post last night, it was the man's Christmas dinner at work. It started at 10pm. Yup, you read that correctly, 10pm.

We're kind of getting used to this, but still.....

The food was quite uneven in quality, some was really fairly badly done, and some was fine, and there was one moment of pure epicurean delight that made it all worthwhile.

I had the lamb, I got a leg. It was a serving fit for Obelix. Honestly, I would have needed maternity clothing if I was going to finish it. It was good it was so big though because the man's bacalla, cod, was FAR too salty. Someone screwed up badly on the soaking and rinsing process there. He finished mine.

The one thing I had that was good was a croquette. Now, every single one of these I have ever eaten here has been unutterably d i s g u s t i n g. Picture deep fried wallpaper paste. Blech.

This one however was porc senglar, as in wild boar. There was definitely an Obelix theme to the was crisp and gorgeous on the outside and savory and unbelievably delicious on the inside. No wallpaper paste in sight. Oh my. So so so good.

When we got home, that's when the fun really began. You see we left the dinner early, at 1am. We were far and away the first and everyone else was settling in for the fun, but the kids were home alone, the babysitter was sick as a dog, and at their age in a country where their communication skills are marginal and we don't have family to call, that was late enough for me.

But you see, when we got home we had a little problem. Normally here, they lock the door with the key when they are inside, and you need a key to get out again. I find this a hassle and also potentially dangerous in a fire, so we use the sliding bolt when we are home. One of those locks that you cannot open from outside when it is 1:30am and the kids are both asleep.


We phoned, we buzzed, we pounded on the door, we rang the bell, we hooted and yelled, but our children sleep veeerrrrrrrrrrrry veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy deeply. They have slept through a hurricane on a 27 foot boat. In harbour I will grant, but you had to hang onto your bunk. They have slept through all manner of disgusting weather on the boat, where they are literally getting air time off the mattress, like at the top of a swing.

It was very difficult to get them up. Chuck was doing his level best, barking his head off, but without opposable thumbs he was not of any real use.

Eventually, around 2:30 am one of the guys living below us got up. Poor guy. His flatmates were still out partying. He got into the spirit of the whole thing though, invited us into his back patio, got a broom and hammered on eldest's window while I hollered and Chuck had a nervous breakdown in the kitchen. The children slept on. The rather heavy screen window fell off eldest's window, fortunately not braining our neighbour, nor knocking him off the stool, then another of the guys arrived. He is VERY fit. He chinned himself up onto our back balcony and tried to get in. I thought Chuck was going to just about die now, he was spinning in circles and barking continuously.

The children slept on.

Neighbour 2 then stepped onto the AC unit outside Eldest's window, which she sleeps immediately under, cranked up the blind, a noisy business itself, and hammered on the window. He cannot have been more than a foot from her. She slept peacefully.

Neighbour 1 started making plans for the man and I to sleep in their apartment. This fiasco continued for a while longer, my man pounding on the door so hard he was shaking the building. Finally Youngest woke up. She sleeps in the front of the building. Eldest remained blissfully unaware of the entire show.

We got in. At last. Youngest was VERY grumpy about being woken up in the night.

Got into bed around 3.


Shopped basically all day.

I am vewy vewy sweepy.

It was very funny though too. I felt like one of the three stooges. Or one of the Romans.


Beth said...

Absolutely incredible that your girls sleep so soundly. Did they sleep like that as babies???

And you've got great neighbours!

Angel said...

Omg Rocky!! This is so funny!!! I was laughing so hard reading this! What a fiasco!! then I'm thinking, "What if Eldest wakes up and sees this man outside her window, banging on it? she'll freak out!"

Man, they DO sleep heavy!!!!
And what the heck is with those Catalans and their late hours?!

Anonymous said...

That is amazing they start so late. I wouldn't want to be leaving the house by that time. Rather funny about the door too, well, after the fact. It does sound like one of those movies where nothing is going right, a little like my day with the pets this week, a comedy of errors, no ones doing, really.

Anonymous said...

LOL!! That reminds me that we really need to get an outside key to the house. We have locked ourselves out before but fortunatly, the oldest daughter can get into her bedroom through the window if she climbs on the roof.

They sure start late for partying. Sounds like when I was in my early 20's. Now that brings up memories....

Anonymous said...

How lucky can you get - kids that sleep like logs, neighbours that climb the walls for you and weather in December that doesn't even need mentioning!!
I laughed myself silly.
Reminded me of the frozen doorhandle incident in May!GM

MaR said...

We had a similar experience when our was 4 and took a nap while we went for a walk, we were on vacation...
Nice to meet you, I will check out your link now and update my post with it! Have a great Sunday, we are having calçots.

oreneta said...

Beth, Eldest definitely did, there's a blog post in that one.

Bullwinkle, I too was worried that eldest would flip out when she woke up, BUT problem there anyway. Home alone at night for the first time and some guy is standing outside your second floor window pounding on it....holy crap.

Dawn, I have to confess it was pretty funny at the time as well. Stupid stupid parents....

Sirdar, those outside keys...where to hide them, then nagging folks to put them back, and cursing them when you are locked out and they haven't.....

GM, we do have crazy door issues, youngests outer blind broke today, slipping free of it's upper moorings, locking that door closed quite effectively. Ah well.

Mar: CALÇOTS!!!! Oh I am green with envy, are you cooking them outside over a fire of olive wood? I am SO spoiled, but that is the only way I have had them...albeit only once.


Nomad Paints said...


OMG, my tummy hurts I am laughing SO hard!!
You are too lucky on all fronts!!

Kids that sleep like logs, a dog who is a very good guard dog... (tho lacking opposable thumbs) and some seriously dedicated neighbors!!

Sorry for the ill luck and the lack of sleep, but OMG fun for us!!